"Ok..so I am here to give, like, money and speech and stuff to all you young kids. Ok, so first they told me to introduce my, like, self. Well, fuck...whats that? Huh? Oh I cant say fuck. Why not? Just keep going? Ok..well I was going to say 'fuck if you dont know who I am where have you been?' But I guess I cant say fuck. Ok! Geez I'll stop! Alright so anywho, my name is Britney Jean..ya Jean Spears. I am a, like, singer person. I made my first album when I was 16. It was called "Baby..One More Time". You have NO idea how many fucking..opps..I mean garsh darn people I had to sleep with before I got that record made! Damn was I soar!! What? Talk about something else? Why? Am I saying something wrong? Just keep going? Ok..damn producers keep yelling at me. Ok, so, like, yeah, I am all into animal rights. Whats that? Oh its childrens hospitals? Really? ok. So I am not into animal rights...fuck the animals..oops..I did it again. Oh my God!! (laughs histiracally) That was a song of mine!! Ok, anyways..I am not into animal rights, I am into Children Hospitals. Like, there are alot of, like, sick kids, and they need rich peoples like yours truley to give them, like, money to make them all better. So my mananger..bad in the sack let me tell ya...said that I have to like, give some of my money to charitys..cause it looks good to the public. So Like, I am giveing, like, a few thousand to this one hospital. I forget what its called. But, ya, so, that is why I am here. Well, I guess that is all I have to say. Fuck..that was easy. Do any of you kids have cancer because its contagiouse it'nt it?"